*SIGH*

I only go to sleep To wake up to you To feel your arms around me As you pull me into you To lose my personal space In the lock of your embrace To see that handsome smile On your equally handsome face I only get of the bed To shower with you To feel your wet body pressed against mine As we do things lovers do Everything you do turns me on Everything about you I miss when you are gone I wish that we were never apart And that our lovemaking could go on and on I only leave to got to work So that I can hurry back to you Because all day long I’m missing you like crazy, Boo No one in my life, has EVER compared to you I never thought I’d find a love so true And I thank God every day For sending me you Oh how beautiful I feel when in catching a glance Pleasure comes over you I push myself a little harder When I know I’m working it for you And once I’ve exhausted my body I long to exhaust yours too...

a little less VINTAGE...a lot more VANDAL...

I make NO apologies for who I am nor for what I feel. Plain. Simple. Have a great day! xoxo

. . .and yet another day passes

"Even when I dream of you...the sweetest dream will never do.. I still miss you.."

Breaking My Lease

Unexpected tears flow
As I am forced to take a good look at me
No longer able to hide under a veil of ignorance
Or between the lines of poetry

My heart weakened and bruised
My mind collapsed under confusion
I’m left with no choice but to weep
As I come to the this conclusion

I am mourning me
A part of me has died
Despite the fact this happened months ago
For its passing I never cried

I dug a hole into your heart
And buried myself deep within
Not fully realizing
That while hiding inside of you
My healing would cease to begin

So I’m giving you formal notice
I am vacating the security of your embrace
As I have grown I realized it had reached max occupancy
And for rebirth I need my own space

Before I could rebuild I had to take inventory
See what had been destroyed
No longer will I live life at half staff
Or pretend I’m not when I am annoyed

Countless sources dictate to me that love is sacrifice
Of this I strongly believe
But I refuse to be trapped in a love
Where the sacrifice begins and ends with me

Remember me?!

I'm BACK!!! Missed me?! I've missed you :) Let's kiss & Make-up, ok? *besitos*

Now that we love eachother again, let me catch you up to speed on the last 2 years:
I got someone, I lost someone, I got engaged, then not engaged, I moved..TWICE!!, and a mist all of this craziness I had a beautiful baby girl. I loved, I lost, I grew, I learned lessons, I live. Thats pretty much everything in a quick wrap.

SOOO allow me to re-introduce myself! My name is Jay. I'm a mother. a sister. a daughter. a lover. a friend. an optimist.

Looking back on the last few years, there are a few things I would take back, many I would keep. I learned to love unconditionally from the bottom of my soul. To love at the happiest moment,but also at the moment of greatest despair. To be able to see thru superficiality into another person's soul. I learned the definition of family-what it is to be apart of family and what it is to create your own family. I learned the definition of sacrifice. Now listen carefully because my wisdom is free so i'm only saying it once! Love, Life and Family...ALL require sacrifice. Whoever tells you differently is either dumb or doesn't know what they are talking about. Marriage, parenthood, and family isn't like what you see on TV. It's about supporting the one you love thru their darkest hour, even if it is at your own expense. Its about putting your feelings second to that one person- and if you have children-guess what? your feelings come in third. First comes your child, then your spouse, then yourself. You are always last.ALWAYS!

Quick SHOUTOUT to my sister Janice, who, if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't even be back on this thing. So thank her by visiting her blog: www.jayla31.blogspot.com. You can learn a few things-mostly how to dress. Please go, because there's alot of ugly dressed people in the world!! sheesh!!! If everyone on earth was more fashionable-we wouldn't be having time to be fighting eachother. We'd all be too busy shopping!!

At the end of the day, Life's short. Drink some cocktails. Smile. Give a random person a hug. Love. Live.

Smooches,
J

His Poetess...

If I were his poetess...
.
Love would be written...
On the lines of our hands...
.
Trust would be printed...
On the tips our fingers...
.
And my commitment...
Would cover each strand...
.
Of Hi.story...
.
Words would be pouring...
.
*write* from his fountain...
Of which I drink...
.
As inspiration...
Reached it's peak...
.
And climaxed hard...
Within my ink...
.
Conceiving each piece...
.
Of potent poetry...
.
Literally leaking...
Lines from lower me...
.
Erotically...
.
I would scribe...
.
If i were his poetess...
A moment in time...
.
Would be seized...
.
While I found the words...
.
To love him like poetry...
Within a verse...
.
If i were his poetess...
He'd love me like prose...
.
If i were his poetess...
My lyrics would flow...
.
.
.
All over his canvas....
.

As I sip on my Starbucks strawberry thingy. . .

I begin to wonder: when will enough be enough? When will be stop the sidelines cheerleading and be the actual quarter back in the game. Proactively decide to be the difference you want to see, rather then sitting from your house being sad/mad about the injustices.

"the smallest package you can come in is 'me, myself, and I'" The person that told me that has made such on impact on the world. Amazing person. She was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. After mixed emotions, from sadness to anger, I decided to take a stand. In January i'll be hosting a banquet to help the Lustgarten Foundation-an org dealing with pancreatic cancer research. www.lustgarten.org

I'll be hosting a series of soirees, silent auctions, and what-nots starting THIS friday. November 20th, Providence, 57th street between 7th and 8th. Girls free before 12, guys 15 before 12. Say "shadow" at the door for the guest list.

Can't make it? you can still make a difference. click below