As I sip on my Starbucks strawberry thingy. . .

I begin to wonder: when will enough be enough? When will be stop the sidelines cheerleading and be the actual quarter back in the game. Proactively decide to be the difference you want to see, rather then sitting from your house being sad/mad about the injustices.

"the smallest package you can come in is 'me, myself, and I'" The person that told me that has made such on impact on the world. Amazing person. She was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. After mixed emotions, from sadness to anger, I decided to take a stand. In January i'll be hosting a banquet to help the Lustgarten Foundation-an org dealing with pancreatic cancer research. www.lustgarten.org

I'll be hosting a series of soirees, silent auctions, and what-nots starting THIS friday. November 20th, Providence, 57th street between 7th and 8th. Girls free before 12, guys 15 before 12. Say "shadow" at the door for the guest list.

Can't make it? you can still make a difference. click below

SIGGHHH.....IT IS THAT TIME OF THE YEAR!!! My birth month!!! wooott woott!! after much contemplation this year i decided NOT to celebrate my 4th year of turning 21! instead i embraced turning a glamorous, fantabulous, sultry and sassy 25!!!! wooooooooohooooooooooooooooo.....

yesterday was my official birthday..apologies..im sure you all wanted a hour by hour run thru of the debauchery however i was just too drunk!!! cute pics. will upload soon.

Been having weird dreams lately. When i wake up, they all come true. hmm ima change my name from esquilin to mercado. Jay Mercado. hmm. has a nice ring to it. Last night had a dream with someone. hmmm..lets see if it comes tru today. that would be interesting.

ahh i need a bloody mary. lol

sinfully yours,
Jay

If I were poetry

If I were poetry...
.
.
.
I'd be written...
Upon the lines...
Of your hand...
.
So you could feel..
Just where I'm coming from...
And without question...
You'd understand...
.
My content...
.
Knowing what i meant...
Before each word...
Even formed a sentence...
.
If I were poetry
I'd be a sonnet...
Seeking solace...
Through literal repentance...
.
.
I'd apologize...
If I were poetry...
.
Poetically speaking...
Within a verse...
.
I'd .write. my wrongs...
To the rhythm of your song...
Combating my hate...
And harbored hurt...
.
And for what it's worth...
.
If I were poetry...
.
I'd let you read me...
Line for line...
.
No metaphorical bloating...
Or metaphysical gloating...
You could probe my thoughts...
And quote my mind...
.
Lines don't just rhyme...
They have deeper meaning...
.
If I were poetry...
Pens would be bleeding...
.
My pain...
.
Happiness...
.
And contentment...
.
.
.
If I were poetry...
I'd show my commitment...
.
To being your friend...
.
Never letting you write alone...
.
If I were poetry...
I'd give your ink a home...
.
But I'm just me...
Poetry is what i recite...
.
But If I were poetry...
I'd give my life...
.
.
.
To your trees...

Thee Forsaken

:SIGH: I know, I KNOOOWW!! I have forsaken you :( *cue the violins* I missed Special Halloween blogs and I missed "blind leading the blind" friday!! *GASP* Did ya miss me?! Been doing loads of stuff in addition to takin over the world...PFT, as if that isnt work enough!! SMH. Just soo you can seeeeeeeee, that its not that i dont love thee... here are some of the things i've bee working on:

1. privately funding a banquet for about 100+ ppl in order to raise a few thousands for Lustgarten Foundation;

2. Organizing and executing a life skills event where its designed to give people in the neighborhood skills needed to be successful and find jobs. So there will be a professional resume writer given lessons on resume writing; a person speaking on interview savvy, etc. & i'm trying to given each participant of the event a suit at the end of the event so that they can feel confident enough to venture out and look for jobs;

3. Applying to be a mentor at least once a week for a little kid at a foster agency

4. Tango classes!!

5. Yoga classes..um..not soo excited lol.

6. BOYS.

7. MY BDAY MONTH celebrations :)

8. Fundraising events to fund the banquet (see number 1)

9. Momentum

10. Step practice for a show next month.

11. stroll practice for a show next week (arrghh)

sooo um yeaaa..and did i mention that there are ONLY 7 days in the week..and ONLY 24hrs in one day!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGGHHH. P.S. my events are a personal endeavor, nothing to do with my sorority, which makes the funding, planning, networking, THAT much harder!! oh and YES..the best part...i only hav 90 days to do all of this!!!!! GREATTT!! So..jea :-/


MIC Check!! whose here? whose not? Whats been going on readers?

xoxo,

Jay