. . .and yet another day passes

"Even when I dream of you...the sweetest dream will never do.. I still miss you.."

Breaking My Lease

Unexpected tears flow
As I am forced to take a good look at me
No longer able to hide under a veil of ignorance
Or between the lines of poetry

My heart weakened and bruised
My mind collapsed under confusion
I’m left with no choice but to weep
As I come to the this conclusion

I am mourning me
A part of me has died
Despite the fact this happened months ago
For its passing I never cried

I dug a hole into your heart
And buried myself deep within
Not fully realizing
That while hiding inside of you
My healing would cease to begin

So I’m giving you formal notice
I am vacating the security of your embrace
As I have grown I realized it had reached max occupancy
And for rebirth I need my own space

Before I could rebuild I had to take inventory
See what had been destroyed
No longer will I live life at half staff
Or pretend I’m not when I am annoyed

Countless sources dictate to me that love is sacrifice
Of this I strongly believe
But I refuse to be trapped in a love
Where the sacrifice begins and ends with me

Remember me?!

I'm BACK!!! Missed me?! I've missed you :) Let's kiss & Make-up, ok? *besitos*

Now that we love eachother again, let me catch you up to speed on the last 2 years:
I got someone, I lost someone, I got engaged, then not engaged, I moved..TWICE!!, and a mist all of this craziness I had a beautiful baby girl. I loved, I lost, I grew, I learned lessons, I live. Thats pretty much everything in a quick wrap.

SOOO allow me to re-introduce myself! My name is Jay. I'm a mother. a sister. a daughter. a lover. a friend. an optimist.

Looking back on the last few years, there are a few things I would take back, many I would keep. I learned to love unconditionally from the bottom of my soul. To love at the happiest moment,but also at the moment of greatest despair. To be able to see thru superficiality into another person's soul. I learned the definition of family-what it is to be apart of family and what it is to create your own family. I learned the definition of sacrifice. Now listen carefully because my wisdom is free so i'm only saying it once! Love, Life and Family...ALL require sacrifice. Whoever tells you differently is either dumb or doesn't know what they are talking about. Marriage, parenthood, and family isn't like what you see on TV. It's about supporting the one you love thru their darkest hour, even if it is at your own expense. Its about putting your feelings second to that one person- and if you have children-guess what? your feelings come in third. First comes your child, then your spouse, then yourself. You are always last.ALWAYS!

Quick SHOUTOUT to my sister Janice, who, if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't even be back on this thing. So thank her by visiting her blog: www.jayla31.blogspot.com. You can learn a few things-mostly how to dress. Please go, because there's alot of ugly dressed people in the world!! sheesh!!! If everyone on earth was more fashionable-we wouldn't be having time to be fighting eachother. We'd all be too busy shopping!!

At the end of the day, Life's short. Drink some cocktails. Smile. Give a random person a hug. Love. Live.

Smooches,
J