I'm back!!! whew lots going on!! Traveling, court cases, social obligations, organizational commitments, dance-a-thon, other community service projects...ARRRGGGHHH!! noooo time!! Most of 2009 was spent walking blindly on a cliff trying to avoid falling off. Now I'm sitting down on the edge of the cliff, enjoying the breeze and looking at the beautiful landscape. What has changed?! Well I haven't changed. It would be a bit "after school special" of me to say that I've changed. I am who I am. But my perception of things has changed. And from that change, has opened a world of compassion, forgiveness and inner peace. Normally, i'd be inclined to equate those three words with weakness; but it takes a far STRONGER person to forgive & help the fellow human, regardless of the wrong that person has done to you. Particularly, if you at one point cared about them.
Today I told someone I missed them. Single-handedly one of the most scariest things I've had to do (and ive lived thru some crazy stuff) lol What i've truly learned is that who ever the other person chooses to be, it should NEVER alter who YOU are. For example, with my example, I missed someone. Normally, I would never tell them "i miss you" out of fear of not hearing it back. But that was wrong. Why should my feelings and my actions be dictated on others' feelings & reactions?! i pride myself on being a leader, and thats not being a leader. All this sounds like good talk rite?! lol yea, i thought so too. Until i grew some balls and put it to the test...i.e..me telling this person i missed them. And as i expected, i didnt hear it back. But ehh thats ok, because i was still true to myself and my feelings :) such is life.
whew..*wiping sweat* now that i got the deep stuff outta the way..I MISSED YA!! Countdown to halloween..WOOOoooooooooooOOOOOOTTTTT WWWOOOooooooOOOOTTTT!! Florida this thursday....
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